A Girl in a Whirl

The very next Tuesday, we went to the pandit again. He wrote something on a piece of paper, tied a red thread called mauli around it, revolved it around the jyoti and asked me to chant a mantra after him. I complied. Then he asked me to hold that paper in my right fist tightly. He asked me to chant the same mantra seven times after him. I complied again. Then he gave me another slip with the mantra written on it and asked me to put the first one under my pillow. He asked me to chant the mantra written on the second one forty times for forty days every night before going to bed. He warned me to be careful not to miss even a single day. I paid him the remaining Rs 8000/-. He also said that he had started mars’ worship for me. We took those things and came home.\n\n“Sister, make Sonia chant mantra every night without even a single miss. Don’t let her forget.”, Jassi’s mom reminded my mom.\n\nI began the regular chanting of the mantra forty times every night before going to bed. Sam almost called every day between ten and eleven A.M., but he was always drunk. I tried a lot to convince him not to drink. The other day, he was badly drunk. And when I tried to make him understand, he said pretty bad words involving my sister and called me a bitch. I was terribly irritated hearing that. I immediately disconnected the phone. He called me several times after that, but I didn’t take his call. I rather switched off my phone because it was absolutely futile to reason with him when he was drunk. I got terribly restless\n\n“What happened, Sonia? Why are you so upset?”, perhaps mom had read my face. I kept mum for some time. But then I thought it would be better to tell her everything.\n\n“I cannot live with this man. Give me something to kill me. Let my story finish right here right now!”, I uttered in utmost frustration.\n\n“No Sonia, no! If anything happened to you, I wouldn’t be alive too.”, mom said and burst into cries.\n\n“O’ lord! What are we being punished for?”, mom began crying loudly. I had never seen mom cry in my life.\n\nI was gawking at my miserable mom. I saw my mom’s tolerance had given in. I realized my mom needed more moral support than me.\n\n“Mom! Please don’t do so! If you did so, what would happen to all of us?”, I got even more nervous. I further realized that parents are also just like babies from inside. We children just keep on bothering them adding to their woes.\n\nBoth, mom and I, helped each other to calm down. After a while, mom got up and got busy in domestic work. I, completely helpless, kept lying there and slept. Mom woke me up for lunch. Both of us had our lunch in a complete silence. All came home in the evening.\n\nAll were having dinner. Meenu asked why I was so quiet. Before I speak, mom said that I was unwell. Mom kept an eye on me that I hadn’t read the mantra that night before going to bed. Mom came and asked me to chant the mantra.\n\n“I’m not gonna do that. What good has it done so far?”, I almost yelled.\n\n“Sonia, don’t miss any day. We will go and ask the pandit.”, mom somehow convinced me to chant the mantra. She sat beside me until I completed my patth. “Sonia, we need you a lot. Swear that you will never have ill thoughts for yourself. If anything happened to you, I would be dead too.”, mom embraced me and began crying. And I couldn’t help crying either.\n\n \n